


Attempt #218

by Lilian



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Angst, Attempt 218, Bisexual Eleanor Shellstrop, Eleanor's POV, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 02:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17275772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilian/pseuds/Lilian
Summary: "This is your soulmate, Tahani."





	Attempt #218

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first (and possibly only) fic in this fandom! hope you like it. :)

“This is your soulmate, Tahani.”

Tahani is hot as fuck. Okay? Whoever this original Good Person Defo Not Eleanor should have been, they totally lucked out. And hey, guess what? Eleanor totally knew that all that making out with hot girls before meant something. She mostly called herself bisexual to piss off-- well, the list was long, His Mother, His mother’s priest (from her Christian Con Period, don’t even ask), his current boyfriend, the straights in general, the gays in general, and about a third of the other bisexuals she met who said that she was just a bad person and she gave them bad rep)- and hey, she WAS a bad person, but Michael seems not bothered and of course Heaven (sorry, the Good Place) is not biphobic, and Tahani and she are vibe-ing real hard.

Tahani admits that she’s never been attracted to girls before (though immediately namedrops five celebrities that made her question her sexuality but not like… in a lesbian way, surely), and Eleanor admits… well, so she tells her soulmate she actually doesn’t like the clowns.

What, she’s not stupid. Obviously, she’s not going to tell her she’s not from there. Weird stuff starts happening, of course, and all of it can be traced back to Eleanor, but they don’t do that. When giant shrimps fall from the sky Eleanor takes Tahani inside the house and kisses her to draw her attention away. Which is kind of the best and the worst idea ever, because Tahani is literally The Best Lover she ever had and boy isn’t it hard to get her alone in their own castle where everyone Keeps. Fucking. Interrupting! With stupid shit! Like what the fork man, this is the Afterlife, why ask your neighbor for a bit of sugar when you have a Janet who can literally get you anything?!   
The shitty things keep happening, of course, but Tahani tells her about Kamilah and her parents, and Eleanor has literally never been attracted to a person this much before. That petty, wonderful and posh giraffe is her Heaven Wife and if she gets more and more guilty over not telling her she not belongs, well… the show must go on, right?!

The show doesn’t go on. Eleanor runs into this Chidi person who was a moral ethics or whatever professor back on earth and he is convinced Eleanor’s Hypothetical Friend Should Tell Their I Didn’t Say What Gender They Were Important Person the truth.

So. She is forked.

Tahani freaks. She freaks even though Eleanor bullies Chidi there to tell her that she is totally a better person now because she confessed, which means she is getting better. After Tahani calmed down, they convince (bully) Chidi into helping them by giving them Ethics lessons, and with every day Eleanor spends with them she falls more and more for her. Tahani is hot, but she is so many other things too. She’s so much fun to annoy and she isn’t afraid of fighting back a little dirtily. She’s intelligent as fork but can gape the most funnily when Eleanor gets the upper hand in their argument. They start doing daily challenges and when Tahani wins (and oh, is she a total graceless winner, honestly the worst, rubbing it right into your face) she flowers right up and later is lenient with so many things because she feels bad for it afterward. She can be the Greatest Bench Ever, and when ‘a real Eleanor’ arrives (out of the blue) to replace her, Tahani lies right into Michael’s face. (Chidi is tricked into giving them away, but it’s not like it matters anyway.) Eleanor thinks this, what she feels towards her, is something close to eternal love, and when she is threatened, Eleanor volunteers to go to the bad place instead of her.

Tahani is beautiful, standing there with her tearstreaked face, begging Michael to let her go with Eleanor. Which she can’t let, really, and soon all of them are arguing and she feels like her heart is smashing into a million pieces, and Tahani is still rage-sobbing, and then Eleanor figures it out.

“This IS the Bad Place!”

And Michael groans, as if this is not even a surprising revelation, and Tahani reaches her arms out to pull her into a hug, and then…

 

Welcome. Everything is fine.


End file.
